10 Random Poker Quotes

• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Welcome to kicker school
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.