10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"