10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.