10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright