10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain