10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Fold and live to fold again
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.