10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph