10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Poker is for loners.