10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.