10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• You have to piss with the dick you have