10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.