10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.