10 Random Poker Quotes

• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.