10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."