10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)