10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Poker is for loners.