10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.