10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it