10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.