10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event