10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.