10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.