10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester