10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet