10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts