10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.