10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "No river, no fish."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph