10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger