10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it