10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.