10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"