10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)