10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP