10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
- "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
- ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
- If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
- To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
- "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
- "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
- (after a particularly bad beat)
"that was a terrible call"
"it's called gambling"
"no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
- Concentrate.
Don't do anything stupid.
Catch some cards.
----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament