10 Random Poker Quotes

• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977