10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."