10 Random Poker Quotes

• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."