10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack