10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.