10 Random Poker Quotes

• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977