10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Why not, when some because there are three.