10 Random Poker Quotes

• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "No river, no fish."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.