10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.