10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Fold and live to fold again
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.