10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "No river, no fish."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com