10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger