10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• im going to 2 out you to death
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."