10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.