10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.