10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"